Steam - Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye

If you're in the UK you'll probably be more familiar with Bananarama's cover version. If you're a tween you might recognise this from 'Goodbye' by Kristinia DeBarge (who, being the niece of El DeBarge, is related to another Guilty Pleasure here). However, this is the original version and, yes you've guessed it, originally started out as yet another session recording by a fake band.

The story goes that the songwriters and musicians were in the studio recording a bunch of 'good' songs. Mercury Records agreed to release one and, not wanting to waste any of the already recorded tracks as B-sides, turned to a fragment of a song that they has written about 8 years previously. Needing to make the track longer, they created a chorus by basically throwing in a few Na-Na's and Hey's where they didn't have lyrics and that was that.

Embarrassed by the result, they attributed the track to the fictitious band 'Steam'. Of course, what happened next was that DJs flipped over the record, making what had been intended to be the B-side a hit and thus ensuring that the throwaway chorus became the only part of the song anyone remembers! A touring band was quickly put together as the creators wanted no part in it (and judging by the stellar lip-syncing job in this performance, it was probably just as well). A couple of follow-up singles and an album flopped and Steam dissipated (geddit?!) Now beloved by baseball fans around the US who would probably be surprised to know that there are verses too...

Bonus Clip: Here's Bananarama's version.

Transvision Vamp - I Want Your Love

My only excuse for this one is that I had an absolutely mega crush on Wendy James at the time and so I convinced myself that her group was the best thing since sliced bread - they weren't.
On retrospect, TV were a pretty good singles band (see this track, 'Baby I Don't Care', 'Tell That Girl To Shut Up' etc.) but their albums were complete pap. They split after a couple of years, Wendy had an entire album written for her by none other than Elvis Costello and is now fronting something called Racine. Ah well, this takes me back to my excitable adolescent days which I've just realised is now over 20 years ago. Sigh...

Bonus Clip: 'Tell That Girl To Shut Up' was originally written & released in 1979 by Holly & The Italians, a short-lived LA band fronted by Holly Beth Vincent, who at the time was living with one Mark Knopfler. Dire Strait's 'Romeo & Juliet' is about their breakup...

Smiley Culture - Police Officer

I'm posting this mostly to demonstrate that the 'novelty' record transcends all genres so here is a reggae example. This is hilarious but only if you can understand the lyrics. Smiley Culture was a British MC/DJ who first hit the charts with the great 'Cockney Translation' (reference near the end of this song) with great lines such as "Cockneys have names like Terry, Arfur and Del Boy/We have names like Winston, Lloyd and Leroy." 'Police Officer' was his follow-up and was apparently mostly autobiographical. For those outside the UK, a 'producer' in this context is the producing of car documents (license, insurance etc.) You can find the lyrics here so sing along!

Bonus Clip: 'Cockney Translation'

Daphne & Celeste - Ooh Stick You

I can't believe I almost totally forgot about this one. I was only reminded when it came up in an obituary on Steven 'Swells' Wells. Swells was a journalist for the NME back when I first started reading it in the late 80s. He was incredibly opinionated, shouty, frustrating to read and absolutely brilliant. Almost every UK music journalist since has, as my friend Mark Beaumont will readily admit, tried to emulate him. He sadly passed away this week after a fight against Hodgkin's lymphoma. You can read his final column for the Philadelphia Weekly here.

One of Swells' favourite things was winding people up. So, of course, when a pop song featuring helium vocals by two American teenagers and lyrics consisting of schoolyard insults was released, he would wax lyrical in the pages of the NME resulting in vitriolic letters from readers who were more interested in the likes of the Manic Street Preachers, Blur, Travis etc. I would sardonically proclaim its brilliance but as a matter of fact it's pure genius - and the fact that Celeste is incredibly cute doesn't hurt either! Swells and others managed to get D&C on the main stage at the Reading Festival where, despite being bottled with all kinds of unmentionables, they put on a great show by all accounts.

RIP Swells - Ooh stick you, your mama too and your daddy!

Bonus Clips: Their other charting single, 'U.G.L.Y."

... and getting bottled onstage at The Reading Festival 2000

Racey - Some Girls

Another cheesy mid-70s British rock TOTP performance! Racey were a British group formed at the tail-end of the 70s whose songs were written and produced by the songwriting team of Chinn/Chapman (well-known for other glam rock and pop hits of the era by Sweet, Mud, Suzi Quatro etc.). Apparently, this song was originally written for Blondie. Racey only had a handful of hits, of which this was the biggest, before disappearing. However, another of their album tracks was a huge hit for another artist after a lyric re-write...

Bonus Clips: 'Kitty' was a track on Racey's 1979 'Smash & Grab' album.

Toni Basil's version was retitled from a female perspective (allegedly about her crush on Micky Dolenz from The Monkees on the set of the movie 'Head' - one of my faves) and added the ubiquitous cheerleader chant and thus 'Mickey' was born.

...and I may as well include this, Toni's first single 'Breakaway' (not the same song as that covered by Tracey Ullman - this one was written by Ed Cobb who also wrote 'Tainted Love') released in 1966 and had an experimental video directed by Bruce Conner, with Toni credited under her birth name of Antonia Christina Basilotta (Warning: NSFW due to some nudity. The music video starts at 3:48).

Tracey Ullman - Breakaway

Most people know Tracey Ullman as a comedienne, actress and/or responsible for their first exposure to The Simpsons. However, at the beginning of her career she had a simultaneous career in pop. Signing to Stiff Records, she mostly recorded cover versions of girl singers/groups including 'They Don't Know", "Sunglasses", "Move Over Darling" and this one, her debut. The boss of Stiff felt that only records above a certain tempo would be hits and so purposefully sped up the track during mastering resulting in Tracey sounding more akin to Minnie Mouse on helium! Still a great track with a classic video...

Bonus Clips: 'Sunglasses' video featuring Ade Edmondson

... and here's Tracey's version of Kirsty MacColl's 'They Don't Know' which has backing vocals from Kirsty and a cameo from none other than Paul McCartney in the video!

Sailor - Glass Of Champagne

It may be the nostalgia but does it seem to anyone else that the 1970s were just more fun pop culture-wise? I mean, could you see a band forming a concept around sailors on shore leave, as this lot did? No, today you get Fall Out Boy instead...

Granted this sounds an awful lot like an attempt to recreate Roxy Music's 'Virginia Plain' even down to the lead singer's vocal inflections, but this is one top tune nonetheless.
Other poptastic facts about Sailor:

• They were fronted by one Georg Kajanus, born Prince Georg Johan Tchegodaieff from Trondheim, Norway
• Kajanus invented the Nickelodeon, a musical instrument made of pianos, synthesisers and glockenspiels (I believe it is the monstrous dual keyboard you can see in the video)

Bonus Clip: Sailor's only other Top 10 entry in the UK charts was the follow-up single 'Girls, Girls, Girls'