Steam - Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye

If you're in the UK you'll probably be more familiar with Bananarama's cover version. If you're a tween you might recognise this from 'Goodbye' by Kristinia DeBarge (who, being the niece of El DeBarge, is related to another Guilty Pleasure here). However, this is the original version and, yes you've guessed it, originally started out as yet another session recording by a fake band.

The story goes that the songwriters and musicians were in the studio recording a bunch of 'good' songs. Mercury Records agreed to release one and, not wanting to waste any of the already recorded tracks as B-sides, turned to a fragment of a song that they has written about 8 years previously. Needing to make the track longer, they created a chorus by basically throwing in a few Na-Na's and Hey's where they didn't have lyrics and that was that.

Embarrassed by the result, they attributed the track to the fictitious band 'Steam'. Of course, what happened next was that DJs flipped over the record, making what had been intended to be the B-side a hit and thus ensuring that the throwaway chorus became the only part of the song anyone remembers! A touring band was quickly put together as the creators wanted no part in it (and judging by the stellar lip-syncing job in this performance, it was probably just as well). A couple of follow-up singles and an album flopped and Steam dissipated (geddit?!) Now beloved by baseball fans around the US who would probably be surprised to know that there are verses too...

Bonus Clip: Here's Bananarama's version.

Transvision Vamp - I Want Your Love

My only excuse for this one is that I had an absolutely mega crush on Wendy James at the time and so I convinced myself that her group was the best thing since sliced bread - they weren't.
On retrospect, TV were a pretty good singles band (see this track, 'Baby I Don't Care', 'Tell That Girl To Shut Up' etc.) but their albums were complete pap. They split after a couple of years, Wendy had an entire album written for her by none other than Elvis Costello and is now fronting something called Racine. Ah well, this takes me back to my excitable adolescent days which I've just realised is now over 20 years ago. Sigh...

Bonus Clip: 'Tell That Girl To Shut Up' was originally written & released in 1979 by Holly & The Italians, a short-lived LA band fronted by Holly Beth Vincent, who at the time was living with one Mark Knopfler. Dire Strait's 'Romeo & Juliet' is about their breakup...

Smiley Culture - Police Officer

I'm posting this mostly to demonstrate that the 'novelty' record transcends all genres so here is a reggae example. This is hilarious but only if you can understand the lyrics. Smiley Culture was a British MC/DJ who first hit the charts with the great 'Cockney Translation' (reference near the end of this song) with great lines such as "Cockneys have names like Terry, Arfur and Del Boy/We have names like Winston, Lloyd and Leroy." 'Police Officer' was his follow-up and was apparently mostly autobiographical. For those outside the UK, a 'producer' in this context is the producing of car documents (license, insurance etc.) You can find the lyrics here so sing along!

Bonus Clip: 'Cockney Translation'

Daphne & Celeste - Ooh Stick You

I can't believe I almost totally forgot about this one. I was only reminded when it came up in an obituary on Steven 'Swells' Wells. Swells was a journalist for the NME back when I first started reading it in the late 80s. He was incredibly opinionated, shouty, frustrating to read and absolutely brilliant. Almost every UK music journalist since has, as my friend Mark Beaumont will readily admit, tried to emulate him. He sadly passed away this week after a fight against Hodgkin's lymphoma. You can read his final column for the Philadelphia Weekly here.

One of Swells' favourite things was winding people up. So, of course, when a pop song featuring helium vocals by two American teenagers and lyrics consisting of schoolyard insults was released, he would wax lyrical in the pages of the NME resulting in vitriolic letters from readers who were more interested in the likes of the Manic Street Preachers, Blur, Travis etc. I would sardonically proclaim its brilliance but as a matter of fact it's pure genius - and the fact that Celeste is incredibly cute doesn't hurt either! Swells and others managed to get D&C on the main stage at the Reading Festival where, despite being bottled with all kinds of unmentionables, they put on a great show by all accounts.

RIP Swells - Ooh stick you, your mama too and your daddy!

Bonus Clips: Their other charting single, 'U.G.L.Y."

... and getting bottled onstage at The Reading Festival 2000

Racey - Some Girls

Cripes! This must have been the cheapest video in history to produce - it looks like they spent more on the balloons than the video itself. Racey were a British group formed at the tail-end of the 70s whose songs were written and produced by the songwriting team of Chinn/Chapman (well-known for other glam rock and pop hits of the era by Sweet, Mud, Suzi Quatro etc.). Apparently, this song was originally written for Blondie. Racey only had a handful of hits, of which this was the biggest, before disappearing. However, another of their album tracks was a huge hit for another artist after a lyric re-write...

Bonus Clips: 'Kitty' was a track on Racey's 1979 'Smash & Grab' album.

Toni Basil's version was retitled from a female perspective (allegedly about her crush on Micky Dolenz from The Monkees on the set of the movie 'Head' - one of my faves) and added the ubiquitous cheerleader chant and thus 'Mickey' was born.

...and I may as well include this, Toni's first single 'Breakaway' (not the same song as that covered by Tracey Ullman - this one was written by Ed Cobb who also wrote 'Tainted Love') released in 1966 and had an experimental video directed by Bruce Conner, with Toni credited under her birth name of Antonia Christina Basilotta (Warning: NSFW due to some nudity. The music video starts at 3:48).

Tracey Ullman - Breakaway

Most people know Tracey Ullman as a comedienne, actress and/or responsible for their first exposure to The Simpsons. However, at the beginning of her career she had a simultaneous career in pop. Signing to Stiff Records, she mostly recorded cover versions of girl singers/groups including 'They Don't Know", "Sunglasses", "Move Over Darling" and this one, her debut. The boss of Stiff felt that only records above a certain tempo would be hits and so purposefully sped up the track during mastering resulting in Tracey sounding more akin to Minnie Mouse on helium! Still a great track with a classic video...

Bonus Clips: 'Sunglasses' video featuring Ade Edmondson

... and here's Tracey's version of Kirsty MacColl's 'They Don't Know' which has backing vocals from Kirsty and a cameo from none other than Paul McCartney in the video!

Sailor - Glass Of Champagne

It may be the nostalgia but does it seem to anyone else that the 1970s were just more fun pop culture-wise? I mean, could you see a band forming a concept around sailors on shore leave, as this lot did? No, today you get Fall Out Boy instead...

Granted this sounds an awful lot like an attempt to recreate Roxy Music's 'Virginia Plain' even down to the lead singer's vocal inflections, but this is one top tune nonetheless.
Other poptastic facts about Sailor:

• They were fronted by one Georg Kajanus, born Prince Georg Johan Tchegodaieff from Trondheim, Norway
• Kajanus invented the Nickelodeon, a musical instrument made of pianos, synthesisers and glockenspiels (I believe it is the monstrous dual keyboard you can see in the video)

Bonus Clip: Sailor's only other Top 10 entry in the UK charts was the follow-up single 'Girls, Girls, Girls'

Murray Head - One Night In Bangkok

Another Guilty Pleasure of mine - musicals (yes, I like musicals and bubblegum pop - I swear I'm straight)! I've liked almost every musical I've ever seen, and I've seen a fair few, including everything that Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd-Webber have been involved in - with the possible exception of Phantom, which I've never been that fond of, but I digress.

So, take one half of the most successful partnership in modern musicals and add the two guys from ABBA and you've hit musical paydirt, correct? Well, not quite. While quite popular in the UK and Europe, Chess bombed on Broadway. In retrospect, a convoluted plot involving Soviet-US politics set against the exciting(!) world of chess was probably not a crowd-pleaser. I saw it in the West End with the original cast. It was a very 80s staging with banks of video screens and a giant tilting and rotating chess-board floor but l thought it was great and would regularly play the Original Cast Recording.

Truth be told, this is not one of the best songs from Chess. In fact, listening to the original concept album the other day, a lot of it does seems horribly dated. However, I did know all the words and did a passable impression of Murray Head back in the day (BTW, Murray is the brother of Anthony Head of Buffy/Gold Blend/Free Agents fame). I caught the end of the PBS: Great Performances concert film of Chess last night starring Josh Groban and Idina Menzel - try and catch a repeat of it this week (it's on in the Tri-State area at 1am on Friday morning).

Shameful fact: my schoolfriend Mark (sorry, Mark) and I used to perform a duet of 'I Know Him So Well' - I believe I did the Barbara Dickson part. Oh, the flashbacks - I'm off to have a scalding shower...

Bonus Clip: here's Raúl Esparza performing at the Kennedy Center in DC in 2018.

a-ha - Manhattan Skyline

I always had a soft spot for a-ha. They sure knew how to make good videos and 'Hunting High & low' was one of the first albums I bought on vinyl rather than on tape - I believe I went halves on it with my sister Michelle as she was in love with Morten Harket.

Anway, this track was from their second album and, much like the Bucks Fizz song posted some time back, strikes me today as an odd choice for a single as it's all over the place: slow/fast, quiet/loud. You can't dance to it either - not that I've tried! Incidentally, another Norwegian band, The Kings Of Convenience, do a great acoustic cover version of 'Manhattan Skyline'.

Bonus clips: Take on Me: Literal Video Version - Ever wish songs just sang what was happening in the music video? Well now they do.

and here's a better audio version of The Kings Of Convenience cover of 'Manhattan Skyline':

1910 Fruitgum Company - 1-2-3 Red Light

Another bubblegum classic. The 1910 Fruitgum Co. were the most successful Kasenetz-Katz band having hits such as 'Simon Says', 'Indian Giver', 'Goody Goody Gumdrops' and this one, which I first came across as a cover by the Welsh indie-pop band The Pooh Sticks (whose whole career is basically a Guilty Pleasure!). This clip is marvelous - just look at the great tambourine work by 'percussion guy' Bruce (it's all in the wrist, you know...)

Bonus clips: Just because I love this song, here's 'Goody Goody Gumdrops', with more sterling tambourine from Bruce:

... The Pooh Sticks version:

... and my next favourite 'tambourine guy', Tim Kubart from Postmodern Jukebox! Spot him in the background from 0:45 in this video:

The 70s UK 50s Revival

Posting The Rubettes the other day reminded me that for no discernible reason a number of UK bands in the mid 70s to early 80s seemed to be living about 20 years earlier and 4000 miles due west. However, I'm rather fond of these for nostalgic reasons as i) they mostly gave good show and ii) my dad absolutely love them and would sing along enthusiastically whenever they were on the telly. So, let's take a look at a few of them:

Showaddywaddy are probably the most widely known example. Originally from Leicester, they appeared to base themselves on Sha-Na-Na and had a penchant for wearing colour co-ordinated Teddy Boy jackets. They were extremely popular having 23 chart hits (most of them cover versions) and a No. 1 with 'Under The Moon Of Love'. Here's their version of Dion & The Belmonts' 'I Wonder Why'.

Darts were another revival band, this time from London and had great pseudonyms such as Griff Fender, Horatio Hornblower, Thump Thompson and Hammy Howell. I had all their albums at one point or another, even if Den Hegarty (the bass vocalist with the mad googly eyes) did scare the bejezus out of me as a kid - he went on the work on the great UK kids show Tiswas.

Darts had split from a previous band called Rocky Sharpe & The Razors - in fact you can see their version of 'Come Back My Love' here. The remaining members regrouped as Rocky Sharpe & The Replays and had their biggest hit with 'Shout! Shout! (Knock Yourself Out!)'. However, here's their debut 'Rama Lama Ding Dong'.

Finally, here is Coast To Coast and their version of '(Do) The Hucklebuck'. I recall almost nothing about this lot except that their follow-up was 'Jump The Broomstick' and it looks like their lead singer has come straight from the set of Eraserhead!

The Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love

Bop-Shoo-Waddy Bop-Shoo-Waddy-Waddy.

They don't make 'em like this anymore - take a look at the band choreography on this! Yet another studio concoction recorded by session musicians, the fantastic lead vocal on this was by a guy who went by the name of Paul Da Vinci (GP crossover alert: Paul was also responsible for most of the vocals on Tight Fit's 'Back to the Sixties Part 2'). He, however, decided not to become part of the band that was put together after the song charted and so it's mimed here by his replacement Alan Williams. This is allegedly the most popular recording by a British group in France... 

Bop-Shoo-Waddy Bop-Shoo-Waddy-Waddy

Bonus Clips: The exceedingly similar sounding follow-up to 'Sugar Baby Love' was 'Tonight' which reached No. 12 in 1974. This one does have Alan Williams on lead vocals...

... Paul Da Vinci also had a few solo singles. Here's one from 1974 (with an allegedly live lead vocal)...

...  and finally, 'Back to the Sixties Part 2' from Tight Fit

B*Witched - C'est La Vie

Boy Girl Band Alert!

B*Witched were an Irish (Really? You couldn't tell? The Riverdance in the bridge didn't give it away?) pop group which contained the twin sisters of one of the guys from Boyzone and whose first 4 (yes, that's FOUR) singles all went to No. 1 in the UK charts.

This was their debut release and the silliest, from the Irish brogue inserts to the ridiculous lyrics, proving that the double entendres in Bubblegum was alive & well in the 21st century:

"I wanna know just what to do

Is it very big is there room for two?

I've got a house with windows and doors

I'll show you mine if you show me yours"

Hanson - MMMBop

No, there's no other excuse for this one except that it is a top, top pop tune. Of course, by the end of summer 1997, I was sick to the death of it being playing non-stop almost everywhere I went. However, with the passing of time, it has taken on Guilty Pleasure status. This possibly has more to do with the Dust Brothers production than with Hanson themselves - I honestly couldn't tell you another one of their tracks...

Tony Christie - Avenues & Alleyways

Tony Christie is a singer with a huge voice, kinda like a Yorkshire version of Tom Jones. He had a number of hits in the early 70s, was the original Magaldi on the Evita concept album and also tried out for the UK's entry into the Eurovision Song Contest in 1976, the same year as Brotherhood Of Man (who went on to win).

After that his popularity in the UK waned though he continued to be big on the continent. However, interest in his career has taken off in recent years. First, he was used as lead vocalist on The All Seeing I's 'Walk Like A Panther' in 1999, then 'Avenues & Alleyways' was used as the theme to a so-so British gangster flick 'Love, Honour & Obey' (which featured a version of the song sang by such luminaries as Ray Winstone, Jude Law, Johnny Lee Miller and Denise Van Outen - see a clip here). Next, Peter Kay chose 'Is This The Way to Amarillo?' for 2005's Comic Relief Song. 'Avenues & Alleyways' is a great song and was originally the theme to a not-that-well-known 1971 Gerry Anderson (him of Thunderbirds, Terrahawks et al.) detective series, though I first heard it in the aforementioned film and it has been a Guilty Pleasure of mine ever since. Plus I love this clip - the audience looks like they've wandered into the wrong studio! Also, anyone who has ever seen my dad sing may see a lot of similarities here...

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Bonus clip: For no other reason that I think it is just a brilliant song (nothing guilty here), here's the Peter Kay video to 'Amarillo'. Pop Quiz: Can anybody outside the UK name one of the 'celebrities' in this clip? All together now - "Sha La La, La La, La La La"...

Bobby Bloom - Montego Bay

If you're under 40, you're probably more familiar with the Amazulu version which was a huge hit in 1986, but this 1970 original version is just great! Plus, check this great clip (which I'm sure was not filmed in Montego Bay) - don't you just love the way the backing singers pop out from behind the bushes?! This was the only hit Bobby Bloom had, although he also co-wrote 'Mony Mony' and was tragically shot in 1974 at the age of 28.

Bonus Clip: Amazulu's cover version.

Leo Sayer - The Show Must Go On

Probably best known for cheese such as 'You Make Me Feel Like Dancing' and 'When I Need You', Leo Sayer was actually critically-acclaimed when he hit the scene back in 1973 with this, his debut single. The fact that he dressed in full Pierrot get-up was more of a benefit than a hindrance back then! I've always liked this song, which he usually performed excellently live as this clip shows - even if the scat section goes slightly off the rails. Those in the US are probably more familiar with the pretty faithful Three Dog Night version. Leo always seems willing to poke fun at himself as shown by his appearances on The Muppet Show and his legendary rant at being denied clean underwear on Celebrity Big Brother, so good on you Leo...

Bonus Clips: My friend Ruth has kindly requested that I add 'When I Need You' so here it is - with added Muppets as it's about the only way I can stomach it at the mo :-) ...

... here's the cover by Three Dog Night from 1974. Note: they change the last line of the chorus to "I must let the show go on" which apparently Leo Sayer was not happy about...

... and let's finish with some more Muppets 'cos there should always be an excuse to post more Muppets!

Goombay Dance Band - Seven Tears

I loved this as a kid. Why? I haven't got the foggiest clue now - it's as cheesy as a ripe old bit of stilton. Anyway, the only thing I can remember about this lot was that, much like Boney M (watch out for them coming up soon), they were German via the Caribbean. Fun Fact: this blog post makes 3 in a row for Guilty Pleasures UK No. 1s from the spring of 1982 as this was preceded by 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' and followed by 'My Camera Never Lies' - I guess 1982 has a lot to answer for...!

Bonus Clip: Another GP entrant, Adam Ant, also had a No. 1 in June 1982 with 'Goody Two Shoes', and Musical Youth hit the top of the charts on October 1982. I believe this year has by far the most entries in this blog!

Hot Butter - Popcorn

More than any other, this record started my interest in electronic music. There are allegedly over 500 different versions out there but this is still my fave - though now I think of it, I believe the version I had as a kid was a generic cover version from one of those very cheap 'Top Of The Pops' compilation albums with a scantily clad strumpet on the cover. Everything you could wish to know about this song (& more) can be found here.

Hot Butter were fronted by Stan Free who had been in The First Moog Quartet with the composer of Popcorn, Gershon Kingsley. His cover version was a worldwide hit in 1972.

Bonus Clips: Gershon Kingsley's version from his 1969 album Music to Moog By, as featured on Top of the Pops with the audience trying to work out how to dance to it...

... and THIS I believe is the version we had in the house at the time, from Top of the Tots also released in 1972.(Note: this is the entire album)

Tight Fit - The Lion Sleeps Tonight

This one is a request from my friend Ruth. OK, hands up - who can watch this with a straight face? Would it surprise you to know that not one of these group members actually sang on the record? Tight Fit were one of those 'fake groups' that producers created to front an already recorded song. The first releases under the 'Tight Fit' name were medleys of 60s hits jumping on the 'Stars on 45' bandwagon. Then this cover song was released and became a hit, so a few model/dancers were recruited to front the band. Funnily enough, they then went on to record a number of songs in their own right (anyone remember Fantasy Island? It's burned in my mind forever!) In any case, the camp value has been turned up to the max for this one...

Bonus Clips: a mimed performance from what looks to be a German TV show - - surely those leotards (or are they leopardtards?) should come with a health warning?

... and 'Fantasy Island'!

... and The Tokens' version of 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' from 1961

Splodgenessabounds- Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps Please

Another fine example of Punk Pathetique, this was responsible for the title of a current (not particularly great) Uk sitcom. The only other thing I remember about this lot was a cover of Rolf Harris's 'Two Little Boys', the original of which is a guilty pleasure in it's own right and will probably be up here soon.

Bonus Clip: 'Two Little Boys'

El DeBarge - Who's Johnny?

El DeBarge came from the large DeBarge family, some whom (El, James, Bob, ... um Algernon and ... erm Sebastian) formed a singing group cleverly entitled DeBarge. After the group hit big with 'Rhythm of the Night', El decided to go solo which basically started and ended with this track from the crtically acclaimed movie 'Short Circuit' - I believe Johnny was the name of the robot in the film but I've never seen it so it's pure speculation on my part. The best part about this video? The fact that, as I presume Steve Guttenberg was not available, they just replaced him with a cardboard cutout! Also, check the size of that VCR... Fun fact: One of El's brothers (James, I think) was married to Janet Jackson for about 5 minutes in the mid-80s.

Adam Ant - Apollo 9

Massive pop tunes though they were, it has to be said that most of Adam Ant's output was a touch on the silly side and it was genius; 2 Burundi style drummers, giant guitar riffs, nonsensical lyrics - they were all here. And 'Apollo 9' was perhaps the silliest of all - all together now:

Well whoopsin-a whoopsin (dress it up)

Jan jan jammering (dress it up, dress it up)

Yabba-yabba-ding-ding (dress it up)

Delta hey max nine

Bonus Clips: 'Ant Rap' - we got Marco, Merrick, Terry Lee, Gary Tibbs & Yours Truly. From the Naughyty North & the Sexy South, we're all singing "I am the mouth"... quite! 

 

... and 'Kings of the Wild Frontier' just 'cos I love the drums

5ive - Everybody Get Up

Boy Band Alert! 5ive were put together by the team behind The Spice Girls (yeah, they were manufactured - so much for Girl Power!) and followed most of the boy band rules, including featuring your band's name in your (mostly rapped) lyrics and having a percentage of the group (in this case 60%) do little more than the requisite posturing. Still, they were pretty huge in the UK in the late-90s and never took themselves too seriously. This 'classic' features the riff from 'I Love Rock 'n' Roll' and such fine examples of English usage as: "You gots to keep it real. You gots to keep it raw. I'm lyrically blessed so don't try to ignore" - as if we would...

By the way, I used to adjudicate exams when I was a college. It was nothing like this!

Bonus Clip: Debut single 'Slam Dunk (Da Funk)

Lou Christie - I'm Gonna Make You Mine

You've got to love the proto-video: "So we've got this bubblegum pop song about never giving up attempting to win some girl's affection. OK, put on your best Tom Jones gear and we'll film you wandering around a breaker's yard on a freezing cold day - try to at least look like you're half interested..."

Lou was from Philadelphia and was born Lugee Alfredo Giovanni Sacco!

Streetband - Toast

Another odd novelty hit from the New Wave era. This one features Paul Young on lead vocals - yes, THAT Paul Young of 'Wherever I Lay My Hat' & 'Every Time You Go Away' fame (and not the one from Sad Café and Mike & The Mechanics). Not really much else to say here apart from every word Mr. Young speaks regarding toast is the complete and utter truth! Maybe this is where Mike Skinner got the inspiration for The Streets?

Bonus Clip: I always liked Paul's cover version of 'Love of the Common People'.

Tony Burrows

Not one, not two, but FOUR Guilty Pleasures for you today (and a couple of few clips as well!)... and they all have one thing in common: Mr. Tony Burrows. You may have noticed that a lot of what gets posted here are by so-called 'one-hit wonders' and perhaps Tony, a session singer in the 60s & 70s, was the king of them all. You see, a lot of these songs were created in a studio by songwriters and producers and performed by session musicians. If the song became a hit, the record label would scramble for musicians to represent the 'group' in music videos and performances. According to this Wikipedia article, Tony has been credited with singing lead on hit singles for more groups than any other recording artist, both on the UK singles charts and the US Billboard Hot 100 chart.

We'll begin with Edison Lighthouse 'Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)' the only No. 1 Tony was involved in.

Next up, Brotherhood Of Man 'United We Stand'. Although this is the same group who went on to Eurovision glory with 'Save All Your Kisses For Me' and other chart hits, not one of the group members on 'United We Stand' were involved in the later incarnation. Here's a dubbed TV performance from 1970.

White Plains 'My Baby Loves Lovin'. This and the preceding 2 songs were all in the UK charts at the same time, February 1970. Tony Burrows actually sang with all 3 groups on one edition of Top Of The Pops. The producers of the show then told him he was unofficially banned, but then had to invite him back a few weeks later as part of the group The Pipkins, who had charted with 'Gimme Dat Ding' (a song so awful I cannot possibly post it as a guilty pleasure)! Note: there is some dispute as to whether Tony Burrows or Ricky Wolff actually sang lead on this track. In this clip, Roger Greenway (the co-writer) is actually miming the lead with Tony being on our far-left)

Lastly here's The First Class 'Beach Baby' from 1974, which I believe was the last hit Tony Burrows was involved in. Note: although Tony sang lead on this and several other First Class tracks, the band were another of those created by the studio and thus new members had to be recruited for TV and live performances. I believe the guy miming to Tony's vocals is called Del John.

Please enjoy and raise a glass to the wonderful vocal talents of Mr. Tony Burrows...

Bonus Clips: I lied! Here's 'Gimme Dat Ding' by The Pipkins

... and 'Bobby Dazzler' by the First Class, an appalling song which I'm only posting due to each member dressing as if they were in a different band!

... and 'Let's Go to San Francisco' by The Flower Pot Men, which not only had participation from Tony Burrows but were created by John Carter, who was also behind White Plains, First Class and The Pipkins!

... a version of 'My Baby Loves Lovin' with Roger Greenaway on actual lead vocals...

... another version with Ricky Wolff on actual lead vocals!

... lastly, here's a great interview with Tony Burrows & Roger Greenaway from 1970.

The Piranhas - Tom Hark

Originally recorded in 1958 by the wonderfully named South African band Elias & His Zig Zag Flutes, new lyrics were written by The Piranhas lead-singer 'Boring' Bob Grover and this became a huge hit in 1980. Another one of those 'so annoying you'll be whistling it all day' songs, this has also become the base tune for a number of football (that's soccer to you Yanks) chants in the UK. Here's a Top of the Pops performance from 1980, with added 'fish used as drumsticks!) Incidentally, their only other hit was also a cover version: 'Zambesi'

Bonus Clips: 'Zambezi', with a parrot on drums this time. Note: the backing singers in this clip are Maz & Kim, aka 'The Fabulous Wealthy Tarts' who also sang with Paul Young...

... and the original of 'Tom Hark' by Elias and his Zig Zag Jive Flutes.

Harry Nilsson - Coconut

OK, so let me first state that I believe most of Harry Nilsson's output is complete and utter genius - except possibly his cover of Badfinger's 'Without You' which was overblown to the max and responsible for most of the caterwauling on Pop/American Idol and their ilk. This little ditty, which funnily enough comes straight after 'Without You' on the 'Nilsson Schmilsson' album, always makes me smile. Plus it was used in a great Sesame Street sketch!

The odd performance comes from a BBC special I believe and there are rumours that one of the guys in the ape costumes is John Lennon. BTW, one of my fave albums when I was very small was Nilsson's 'The Point' which we had on 8-track. I was so upset when my parents replaced our 8-track machine with a cassette player but did not replace the album. I managed to find a copy on vinyl about 15 years ago and it just about made my year :-)

Bonus Clip: The Muppets' version

... and the entirety of the movie of 'The Point' featuring narration from Alan Thicks (this was the third telecast, the previous two had narration from Dustin Hoffman and Ringo Starr respectively). No idea how long this will last until it is taken down, so enjoy while you can.

Jilted John - Jilted John

Having posted Plastic Bertrand the other day reminded me that novelty songs were also released by some of the more 'alternative' acts of the day. There was even an entire punk movement (named Punk Pathetique by Garry Bushell of all people) dedicated to it. So here's a classic example from 1978. Jilted John was a a character created by the actor Graham Fellows who went on to star in Coronation Street and is better known these days as John Shuttleworth. This song was responsible for entire school playgrounds chanting 'Gordon is a moron', even more so if you happened to have an unfortunate soul actually called Gordon attending your school. Today opponents of the erstwhile UK PM have taken this up as an unofficial theme song.

Bonus Clip: John Shuttleworth's TV debut from 'At Home With Vic & Bob'

... and 'Gordon's Not a Moron', a cash-in single released under the name Julie & Gordon, who I don't think had anything to do with Graham Fellows

Rupert Holmes - Escape

This one is my parents' fault as they were obsessed with this when it was originally released and played it virtually non-stop which, judging by the lyrics, is midly disturbing now I come to think of it! Fun Fact: Rupert Holmes was responsible for a musical version of the Charles Dickens unfinished novel 'Edwin Drood' which had a multiple-choice ending chosen by the audience - I thought it was quite fun even if the UK production closed after only 10 weeks (and it had Ernie Wise in it).

Bonus Clip: Here's a live version from The Midnight Special, with a cringeworthy opening skit featuring The Village People!

Trio - Da Da Da

There is a reason for this one. I owned a Casio VL-Tone (the little dinky monophonic keyboard supplying the rhythm and main riff) and spent most of 1982 driving my parents by continuously attempting to play this. Note: I cannot play keyboards - the only other thing I could play on the Casio was the theme to M.A.S.H. Fun fact: the Casio VL-Tone also doubled as a calculator, which of course was extremely useful when you were playing keyboards...

Bonus Clip: The English version.

Barnes & Barnes - Fish Heads

One of my college roommates (Hi, Rich) had this on a compilation tape which of course we listened to ad nauseum. The only problem was we had no idea who it was by (for some reason, I thought it was either Daniel Johnston or Jad Fair - don't ask). In the days before the Internet when there was no Google (remember them?), I spent time looking this up in libraries and book stores (remember them?) to no avail. When Sir Alan of Gore finally got round to inventing the Web (allegedly), with the help of Altavista (remember that?) I was able to find out it was by something called Barnes & Barnes. In one of those rare acts of co-incidence, a record stall in the basement of the University Union actually had a Barnes & Barnes tape with this on it. Nothing else on that tape came close - in fact most of it was downright annoying but I still love this. This has now become a bath time song for the kids - there's nothing like 4 smiling faces responding 'Yum!' to the chorus... :-)

Enjoy this incredibly odd little video to this incredibly odd little song from the days when MTV actually played music videos instead of faux-reality shows of people I have absolutely no interest in. Oh BTW, the song doesn't actually start until about 2:17 in, so if you find the start too weird for your tastes just fast-forward...

Bonus Clips: A higher quality version that features just the song.

... and an interview with Bill Mumy, one of the geniuses behind Barnes & Barnes, on the origins of the song.

John Miles - Music

'Music was my first love and it will be my last'. Fine sentiments I'm sure but why the dickens was this a monster hit? I mean, it's not even a song, is it? Just a few random music fragments stitched together. Well, I 'spose it worked for Bohemian Rhapsody. Ya gotta love the '70s...

Chicory Tip - Son Of My Father

File this one next to 'Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep' in the 'Cheesy Europop cover by UK one-hit wonders' cabinet (original version by Giorgio Moroder, him of 'I Feel Love' and 'Electric Dreams', fact fans). The song itself ain't much special, but just listen to that Moog - groovy...

Bonus Clip: Giorgio Moroder's original version.

Plastic Bertrand - Ca Plane Pour Moi

This Euro attempt at 'punk' has a somewhat interesting history. Originally released by little known punk band Elton Motello as 'Jet Boy, Jet Girl' (whose chorus comprised of 'He gives me head' - strange that wasn't a hit then, eh?), the backing track was taken by the composer, new lyrics written and re-recorded in slang French and voila 'Ça plane pour moi' was born! I have vivid memories of this being performed on many TV shows at the time but had no idea what any of the lyrics were apart from the chorus. However, go here and all shall be revealed...

Bonus Clips: an interview with the composer Lou Deprijck (turn on CC for English subtitles). Note: he actually sang 'Ça plane pour moi'; Plastic Bertrand (real name: Roger François Jouret) mimed.

... and a TV show performance of 'Jet Boy Jet Girl' by Elton Motello.

The Sweet - Little Willy

Glam Rock was really just Bubblegum's elder, grimier brother and, like Bubblegum, was also filled with dubious lyrics full of innuendo - well, maybe it's just me but I can't listen to tracks like this and Wig Wam Bam without sniggering! Anyway, here's The Sweet doing their thing. According to my mum, I used to run around the living room every time Ballroom Blitz was on the telly - give me enough to drink and I still do... :-)

Bonus Clips: 'Wig Wam Bam' which was covered by Black Lace, of all people...

... and 'Ballroom Blitz'. Excuse me, I have to go run round the living room now :-)

Münchener Freiheit - Keeping The Dream Alive

Another one from the 'Xmas songs that have nowt to do with Xmas' file. I know very little about this band but believe they were from Germany (I guess the Münchener gives it away!). This sounds like Paul McCartney fronting ELO with a production that throws everything including the kitchen sink in. I dunno why it keeps popping up on Xmas compilations as neither the lyrics nor the music sound particularly Xmassy...

Bread - Everything I Own

An ex of mine (hi Ruth - told you you'd get the blame for one of these!) had 'The Best Of Bread'. Most of it failed to convince me that they were the best thing since sliced bread (see what I did there?) However, I actually really liked this song which is far more poppy than the rest of the horribly saccharine MOR track and I prefer to the better known in the UK Ken Boothe reggae version (subsequently covered by none other than Boy George).

Bonus Clip: Ken Boothe's version.

East 17 - Stay Another Day

Of all of them, East 17 was probably the most ridiculous boy band; a group of proto-chavs comprising a talented songwriter, a titch with a pretty good voice and two other guys who did nothing other then posturing - 2 Bezs! This is quite a nice ballad that, thanks to the inclusion of a load of Xmas bells near the end for no reason at all, became a huge Xmas hit.

Geraldine McQueen - Once Upon A Christmas Song

Anyone who has jumped on the Susan Boyle badwagon (though talented she may be) ought to watch 'Peter Kay's Britain's Got The Pop Factor', a brilliant spoof of Reality TV talent competitions and the contestants who enter them - here's the intro and you can find other clips on Youtube here. Geraldine McQueen, a transsexual former cruise ship entertainer (actually Peter Kay in drag), was the 'winner' and this is the single that was released last Xmas. It fulfills 2 of my Guilty Pleasures: novelty songs and Xmas songs (why does this nice Jewish boy love Xmas songs? Who knows...) and I apologise in advance if you end up humming it for the next 2 weeks! Co-written by Peter Kay and Gary Barlow from Take That, fact fans...

Bonus Clip: The entire 'Britain's Got The Pop Factor' - not the best quality but certainly watchable.

Blue - All Rise

Blue, Blue, Blue - a group so mediocre they couldn't even come up with a good band name. Another UK boy band debut, this one checks off a number of requisite boxes:

• Singing in a mid-Atlantic accent? Check.
• Wannabe R&B posturing? Check.
• Craptastic attempt at rapping in middle eight? Check.
• Rudimentary choreography? Check.
• One member who doesn't seem to do very much? Check.
• Stinging reposte to a woman who gone done 'em wrong (all of them? at the same time?)? Check.

The group have recently reformed after finding that the sum of the parts was much much less than the whole (which wasn't that much to begin with). IIRC, I believe my sisters knew one of them (possibly Anthony Costa).

A1 - Be The First To Believe

OK, everything I've been posting so far has been leading up to this, my most shameful secret. You see for all my love of 'challenging' music (or, as my wife calls it, stuff that sounds like someone scratching their fingers down a blackboard), I am a sucker for a great pop song, and the zenith (or nadir depending on how you look at it) is a fondness for boy bands. But not any old boy band, no siree - I gravitate towards the second-string or B-list acts. After NKOTB, the UK went boy band crazy but for every Take That, Boyzone or Westlife, there was a 911, Northern Line or Upside Down. Which brings us to A1 - named, I assume, after the vernacular for 'top class' and not the steak sauce, UK trunk road or paper size. They were slightly different to most as they mostly wrote their own stuff and this one was their first of a not particularly spectacular run of singles (which included a truly awful version of 'Take On Me'). It's poptastic though this video is cringeworthy!

Bonus Clip: A1's version of 'Take On Me'.

Bucks Fizz - My Camera Never Lies

For those of you that are not aware of the marvel that was Bucks Fizz, think of a British poor-man's '80s-version of ABBA and you're on the right lines. A 2 (not particularly attractive) men, 2 (attractive) women combo who won the Eurovision Song Contest in 1981 and went on to have a number of hits until fading into obscurity and TV presenting gigs. I always thought this single was an odd one as it's all over the place tempo and time-signature wise but, hey, it got to No. 1 so what do I know?!

Bonus Clips: For the first half of the 80s, Bucks Fizz were huge in the UK and Europe. Here's a few of their other hits, starting with 'Making Your Mind Up', the song that won Eurovision 1981.

... 'The Land of Make Believe'.

... and 'Now Those Days Are Gone'.

The Ohio Express - Chewy Chewy

Back to bubblegum we go and another Ohio Express track. The thing I find most funny about bubblegum pop is. for a genre so obviously marketed to kids, most of it was full of double-entendres that Frankie Howerd would be proud of: 'Do it to me Chewy, chew me out of my mind'? Oooh no, missus!

Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill

Insightful diatribe on new ways to live your life as it relates to culture in the 21st century or aimless rambling over squiggly electronic bleeps to create a hopeful pop hit? You decide. Me? I choose to believe every word (except for the spelling of Phoenix of course...)

Candlewick Green - Who Do You Think You Are?

I first heard this song when it was covered by Saint Etienne is the early 90s. It's had a rather convoluted history: originally recorded by the little known UK band Jigsaw (hey, they were big in Japan!), Candlewick Green had recently won Opportunity Knocks (the 70s version of Britain's/America's Got Talent) and asked if they could record it. They did and reached the heady heights of #24 on the charts. It was also a US hit for a group by the unlikely name of Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods. I like this one the best out of the four and it sounds to me like a Eurovision Song Contest entry (anyone outside of Europe probably hasn't a clue what that it).

Bonus Clips: Jigsaw's version...

... Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods...

... and finally, Saint Etienne.

Middle of the Road - Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep

Well, I promised you worse so here we go! I can't even tell you why I like this - my mum probably used to sing it to get me to sleep. I almost posted the original Lally Stott version of this for the innate oddness of the performer and the promo clip. However, this version by Middle of the Road from 1971 takes the Cheese Award and was a huge hit in Europe at the time (those in the US probably know the Mac & Katie Kissoon version better). Doesn't the drummer look like he can't believe he's playing on such dross? These days I do find the lyrics somewhat troublesome. I mean, where exactly has this kid been left while his parents have gone far, far away? That's what fatherhood does to you I guess...

Bonus Clips: Lally Stott's original from 1970...

... and Mac & Katie Kissoon, a brother-sister duo from Trinidad. This is also from 1971.

The Osmonds - Crazy Horses

When you think of The Osmonds, you may recall such insipid saccharine hits such as 'Let Me Be The One' or 'The Proud One'. This, however, RAWKS!!! And just listen to that immense guitar solo and keyboard abuse - you'll never look at Donny the same way again...

Bonus Clips: 1n 1995, the Leeds-based techno Utah Saints remixed the Osmonds track.

... and here's a 'Bastard Pop' mix from Hexstatic (released under the delightful name of 'Exactshit') fusing 'Crazy Horses' with 'Humanoid' by Stakker.

Chas & Dave - Ain't No Pleasing You

I don't really expect anyone outside of the UK (or London for that matter) to understand the phenomenon that is Chas & Dave. Suffice to say they are a blend of music hall/cockney knees-up/have-a-banana/pub-rock that was strangely popular in the late 70s. This could have been anyone of a number of tracks (especially 'The Sideboard Song') but the sight of them performing this in white dinner jackets with a full string section always makes me laugh. Undergoing something of a resurgence having played Glastonbury a couple of years ago and feted by Pete Doherty of all people...

Bonus Clips: The aforementioned 'The Sideboard Song'.

Hotlegs - Neanderthal Man

OK, sticking with a theme, here's another pre-10cc moment. This time 75% of the band mucking around with studio overdubs while Graham was off in the States working for Super K. Lol starts mumbling something about a Neanderthal Man, a label head hears it and decides it gonna be a hit! Released under the name 'Hotlegs' this actually got to No. 2 in the UK charts in July 1970, though it took them another 2 years and a band name change to repeat this success...

Bonus Clip:... with 'Donna' which reached No. 2 in 1972, and is pretty silly in it's own right.

The Ohio Express - Sausalito

I have an inordinate love of all things Bubblegum Pop and will be posting more in the future, though this one is less twee than most. Not sure who the longhairs in the video are as by the time this 1969 single was released The Ohio Express was, like a number of other Super K bands, just a front for various session musicians. In fact, this is actually 10cc 3 years before they were 10cc!

Bonus Clips: Other songs written and performed by future 10cc members for various Super K bands include 'There Ain't No Umbopo' released under the name Crazy Elephant in 1970.

... which was also re-recorded by Hotlegs and released under the name Doctor Father.

... and 'Susan's Tuba' by Freddie and the Dreamers (yes, them of 'I'm Telling You Now'). Not sure if this is Freddie Garrity or Graham Gouldman on lead vocals...